


I should've played it cool but instead I played the fool

by serenesavagery (DivergentElf)



Series: Apartment 1-A Shenanigans [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Grocery Shopping, M/M, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:36:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivergentElf/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: Tony really was stupid, making him buy a shit ton of groceries, Bruce thinks.Oh well, at least Thor was a neighbour who helped out.





	I should've played it cool but instead I played the fool

Bruce stares at the grocery list and then stares at Tony, who's giving him his patented look of the state of not being impressed at all. 

Honestly, Tony looks like a strict mother these days and Bruce is getting frightened. 

"Tony, you _really_ want all this stuff?" Bruce asks, squinting at the grocery list. 

Tony shakes his head. "It's well within our budget, Bruce. Plus, it's the weekend! I need a shit ton of stuff. Also, you can just rent a shopping cart if it's too much." He says, in a matter of fact voice. 

Bruce sighs. "Oh fine, if you really insist..." He says, putting on his glasses and Tony's jacket which is hanging on a nearby wall. 

"Why are you putting on my jacket?" Tony asks, blandly. 

Bruce just gives Tony a pretty good shit eating grin on the way out. 

"Oi!" Bruce can hear Tony shouting, and he just laughs. 

Bruce isn't actually worried about the ridiculously long grocery list; he could carry two ridiculously heavy bags after all. 

Even if the grocery store was a bit far, but hey, Bruce could manage. 

 

There was actually some pretty ridiculous stuff on Tony's grocery list, now that Bruce bothered to look at it properly. 

(Like, for example, a teddy bear. And goggles.

How Tony even knew this particular grocery store was selling these stuff was beyond Bruce.)

Worse, Bruce forgets to rent a shopping cart. 

When he finishes shopping, he's horrified at how full his grocery cart is. 

And when it's time to pay up, Bruce just stares on with a kind of horror that would be found on a child whose teddy bear has just been stolen. 

"Sir, you sure you want all of this?" The grocery store owner asks timidly. 

Bruce just stares blankly. 

"My roommate does, apparently." He says blandly, as he carries them out. 

Bruce manages to carry them past the door. 

He fails miserably after he goes out of the store, falls down and stares in mute horror as all the grocery stuff goes tumbling on and on and on. 

"God damn it, Stark!" Bruce says as he throws up his hands, irritated beyond belief. 

Now he's sitting on the asphalt and wondering how to take up all the grocery and he wants to smack Tony with the new spatula so badly. 

"Whoa there, I didn't know you were such a little spitfire." A familiar voice says cheerfully and Bruce would know that Norwegian accent _anywhere_ as of now. 

"Well, my grocery just tumbled down the street! Of course I'm being a little spitfire-" Bruce widens his eyes as he realises who he's talking to and he looks up at Thor freaking Odinson, who's wearing sunglasses and looking down at him from his bike with a smirk on that stupidly handsome face of his. 

Bruce hurriedly pushes up his glasses and gets up, dusting his pants. "God, Thor, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you." Bruce says, embarrassed. 

Thor laughs a little. "No harm done. Why don't you sit on the bike while I just grab up everything and hang it on the front of the bike?" 

Bruce blinks. The bike was big, sure, but could it really carry all that? 

When he voiced it out uncertainly, Thor laughed again and he shook his head which Bruce took as a no but apparently Thor had made the bike carry worse. 

Bruce just couldn't see how anything could be worse than this baggage. 

Thor helped him carry whatever had tumbled down the street even as they dodged incoming traffic, and finally it took them half an hour, if Bruce's watch wasn't wrong, to finally put everything on the bike. 

"Whoa. Can you ride with all that?" Bruce asks, pointing at the groceries. 

Thor waved a hand. "Meh, it's not a problem anyway. You worry too much, Banner." Thor says, smiling. 

Bruce hugs himself uncertainly. He actually had a lot of reason to worry about things, like what if that bike tumbled over from the weight of all those stuff? 

"Look, sit on the bike, I'll drop you off and I'll help you carry all that baggage to your apartment. Nope!" Thor added when Bruce opened his mouth to argue. Thor raised one index finger in warning, even though his face was relaxed. 

He was way more relaxed than Bruce could hope to be, anyway. 

"No arguments. Zip it. And get on the bike." Thor said, making a zipping gesture before gesturing for Bruce to get on the bike. 

Bruce felt like he wanted to grumble under his breath but Thor was being so helpful and he couldn't bring himself to chide his neighbour. 

"Hang on. I'm gonna be breaking the speed limit." Thor says, and before Bruce can ask anything, they zip off at an inhumane speed. 

"Oi! That speed of yours is gonna get you arrested!" Bruce yells, mentally freaking out about how he's calmer than he expect. 

"Nope!" Thor yells back cheerily, and Bruce takes Thor's advice, wrapping his arms around the bigger man's waist. 

Bruce is too busy freaking out to be embarrassed at this ridiculous gesture and thus he clings on tight. 

 

And he starts freaking out again when Thor stops at their house, for a new variety of reasons. 

A) Tony is going to be pissed he didn't rent a shopping cart. 

B) Tony is not going to shut up about Thor. 

C) Speaking of Thor, it was completely embarrassing how he clung on to Thor like that. And felt his iron hard muscles. 

Bruce holds his head in his hands when he gets out of the bike, and Thor takes off his sunglasses and looks concerned. 

"Banner, you okay?" He asks, patting Bruce on the back hard enough to make said man cough. 

"If I don't freak out about Tony." Bruce deadpans, and he's proud of himself for remaining sarcastic. 

Thor shrugs. "Isn't he that roommate of yours who loves popsicles?" He asks curiously, putting his sunglasses into his pocket. 

Bruce snorts. "That's him. He also loves a neurosurgeon, robots, artificial intelligence systems and Disney movies." He deadpans again, taking out his glasses and rubbing them, before putting them back on. 

Thor snickered. "He sounds fun." 

Bruce chuckles. "Guess you could say that." 

Thor's phone beeps loudly from his pocket and Thor groans, taking it out. "Must be Loki." He mutters, before typing out at rapid speed. 

Bruce blinks, but Thor doesn't give any time for him to ask questions, as he puts down his phone in the pocket and carries a good amount of the groceries. 

Bruce gaped when he sees the amount Thor is carrying. "Hey, that's not fair, let me carry some!" He says, and Thor grins. 

"You can carry those." Thor says, with a backward jerk of his shoulder to his bike and Bruce folds his arms. 

"Give me one of those. You've already helped me out so much today." 

Thor smiles, and it's kind of endearing, this particular smile of his. "I didn't have to but I wanted to, all right, _kjæreste_ -" Just then Thor blinks, and he has a horrified expression with just the slightest bit of sheepish idiocy on his face. 

Bruce laughs a little as he shakes his head and goes back to pick up some bags. "That Norwegian?" He asks. 

Thor gulps but laughs nervously. "You could say that."

Bruce shrugs, smiling a bit.

(He wonders if Tony knows Norwegian.) 

He knocks on the door and Tony comes out, looking curiously at Thor before grinning wolfishly. 

"Why if it isn't Adonis. Did he help you with the groceries, Brucie?" Tony asks innocently, ushering them inside. 

Bruce stomps on Tony's foot but Tony is Tony and he barely turns a hair. 

"You're Norwegian, aren't you?" Tony asks to Thor, as he places some of the groceries on the sofa. 

Thor nods. "Yeah, I am, why?" He asks, curiously. 

Tony grins. " _Jeg er Tony Stark. Glede å møte deg_." He says, extending out his hand. 

Thor looks strange, like he's both scared and impressed. " _Samme_ , Stark." Thor says, shaking Tony's hand strongly. 

Bruce rolls his eyes. "Yeah, nice to see you getting along while I'm stuck here with no idea to speak Norwegian."

Tony laughs. "I could teach you. Or maybe strong and hunky could." He says, with a wink. 

Thor rubs the back of his head with a slight laugh while Bruce punches Tony in the arm. 

 

When they unload the last of the groceries, Thor waves goodbye and goes off. 

Tony grins. "I like him. He's perfect." 

Bruce is reading a science magazine on the sofa while eating a pretzel. "Stop being ridiculous, Tony." He says through his munching of the pretzel. 

Tony shrugs, that wolfish grin still there on his face. "Not as good as Stephie, though." 

Bruce rolls his eyes. 

At least Tony has forgotten about nagging him for not renting a shopping cart. 

 

_At Thor's room..._

"Scored with that Bruce guy?" Loki asks casually, munching on an apple while sitting on the sofa. 

Thor throws a perfume stopper at Loki, who effortlessly catches it. 

"He's old, isn't he?" Loki asks, conversationally. 

Thor rolls his eyes. "You're a fossil in comparison, _dumme hode_." Thor says blandly, putting his jacket on a wall coat hanger. 

Loki just speaks through his munching of the apple. "I'm only 26. You're the _dumme hode_." 

Thor shrugs. "Whatever. I might have called him sweetheart by accident." Thor says, washing his hands in the sink nearby to the living room. 

Loki laughs. "Oh man, this is gold. What did he say?" 

Thor goes red. "It was in Norwegian." 

Loki cackles further. "Man, this is priceless! The great womanizer finally stumbles around somebody!" He says, smirking. 

Thor snorts, wiping his hands with a towel. 

"Ha ha, very funny, _taper_." 

"I'm not a loser, you are. For looking like one." Loki says, snorting. 

Thor lets out an amused exhale. "Can't argue with that now, can I." 


End file.
